As a child I had many friends and a few best friends. As I grow older, I am realizing that obtaining and keeping a best friend is very hard. In fact, sometimes I don't even think I have one anymore. And, although I adore my husband and he is my number one confidant, it just isn't the same. He is not someone I can have a girls day with....get my hair and nails done...shop...those sorts of things. Sometimes we really just need that same sex companionship. Someone we can totally trust not to judge us when we tell them our deepest secrets and thoughts.
Right now I have an internal conflict with who my best friend really is at the moment, or if I even have one. There are two people in my life that are females that I really enjoy spending time with, but they both live a ways away from me and I am pretty sure one already has a best friend ( and I don't dare interfere, but just wish I had that relationship sometimes). The other I have a lot of history with....but I feel that since she left years ago for the Coast Guard...our lives have grown significantly apart. She now has a child and has matured in ways that I never will until I have a child of my own. She still strives to have that close relationship with me sometimes, and we will plan to try to do something fun....but most of the time...our now separate lives usually get in the way. Ah...the joy of growing up and gaining responsibilities. Oh how I wish we could live closer and become close again. She really was the one person that truly understood me and I couldn't ask for a better person that likes the same things that I do. People watching at Denny's being one of our most favorite past times. :D
So....here I am with this conflict of what to do, or if I should do anything at all. Maybe I should just trust that God will handle this conflict, and that I should try to strengthen both the relationships that I have been blessed with to the best of my ability and be grateful that they both are part of my life.
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I think a "best" friend is frequently a matter of convenience. What I mean by that is that distance hinders one's ability to maintain a "best" friend type relationship. Not in all cases...but in most.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're not lacking for people who love you, just someone to do the day-to-day things with. That stinks...and it can be a lonely place to be. I've been there and I feel for you. Starting now, I'm asking God to bring some friends into your life...to encourage, have fun with, etc....to just share life with.
Also, I don't think you should be concerned about interfering with your one friend's "best" friend. It doesn't seem like you are trying to come between them in any way. Nor does it sound like you're trying to compete for that "best" friend position.
For me personally, I have 2 female friends that I would be totally lost with out. The one is a "best" friend in that she is located in the same town and we intentionally spend time together each week. This allows us to help each other grow, be accountable to our commitments, etc. This would not be as practical if we didn't live close to each other.
The other is, as I like to put it, "the sister-in-law I never knew I wanted and the sister I can't imagine being without". She lives too far away for us to have a spur-of-the-moment dinner some night, but close enough that i get to see her about 1 weekend a month. I really look forward to those times. We might scrapbook, or shop, or cook (and by that i mean she works and i watch), or just hang out and talk. I wouldn't trade her for the world!
For me, it's like having 2 best friends. Hmmmmm....maybe I have to rethink them getting to know each other. They may end up best friends and I'll be the one searching. ;D
Seriously tho...praying for you to discover some great friends in close physical proximity.
I think your right....I think it is a matter of having someone that is convieniently close and that is the person you spend most time with and becomes your "best" friend. I dont think that means you like that person better than your other friends. You have really made me see this in a new light.... now its not so depressing! And I really believe each friend has thier unique characteristics and you do different things with each of those friends.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a different insight on this! You have made my day. :)
Oh...and I do wish I had that person that lived close by to be able to do stuff with. But... it might be best that I dont, I would spend way too much money, and my life long best friend might not like that. ;)
ReplyDeleteYEA!!...I'm glad you're feeling better about this!
ReplyDelete